Heart Ache

My heart feels like its gonna explode anytime...
My shoulder stiffen and gets heavier...
Im in pain... Deep pain

For all the years of admiration
and love and affection,
It seems reality had knocked us hard.
So hard it shaking everything.

Things will be never be the same I guess,
I dont think you stood up for me,
I dont think you could make any decision either.
I have to accept if you leave my side,
But im afraid I come to the point that I'll make that move before you.

I just want to see you happy
So be happy,
even if its mean,
Im not a part of it.

Gopoh

I accidentally read some political post that relates to economic and islamic society or jemaah. Be it from any group, I still feel despair....

It started when I start to dig in Greece economic issue. It is bad time for them, let's pray, hopefully the All Mighty All Merciful ease their pain, especially those old folks that loses their money. Keep on praying peeps! That the lease we can do.

Hmm... Then the plot is thickening where my attention was directed to 1MDB issues and this guy, kind of afgue why non (from his pov) from Islamic NGO claim or make noise about this issue. And yes, there were replies from many sides. Hmm... Like seriously we have so many Islamic groups? What makes me feel a lil bit sick (too much of melodrama here? No?) is that they quarrel or disagree about things that I think should be put aside. Why not you guys, the intellectual from jemaah, man with integrity sit together and have a sleepless night discussing about this issue before quarreling in public. Is that what you learn from your long tarbiyyah? Provoking your brother in other jemaah? What? I just can't register that.

Malaysia is a small country. We don't have strong union to protect our currency as Euro tried to protect Greece. And yet you guys still mouth fighting? Really? Can't you see that even when Greece change their PM, they still in chaos because the citizen already lost their respect and no longer have one vision. Everybody here is too occupied with their own thoughts and think that they are right, or MAKSUM. Come guys, you can do better. Unity in Malaysia is more challenging because not only we have different races, now we have different Malay-Islamic sect... again, seriously... does this need to happen?

Be the change you want to see in the world. Start to change our attitude before blaming what others did... What others did is uncontrollable. You only can control yourself, if only you have control over your brain and mouth.

You there who has his heart

Hey,
You there,
Yes you there who own his heart,
Promise me to take care of him,
Never ever hurt him... Promise!

I guess the destiny is not meant to be mine,
I was only been given a privilege to adore him,
But I will always want him as happy as he inspire me to be,
So you, there... care for him, love him unconditionally.

I will never ruin his perfect future with you,
He deserve what he deserve,
I will back off, but my step will be full of prayer,
for him and for you.
For him because I love him,
and for you to ensure he received plenty of love and care.

Second Chance

All I need is a second chance,
to make things right,
to turn darkness to bright;
so all the burdens feels so light.

Do I really need a second chance?
When it just a scattered dreams,
Layers of feelings, that overlapped with each other,
buried the real deal, hide the meaning, shut down everything

I just want to sit in one corner,
Not to cry,
Just want to be thankful,
For HE still lend me rationality and patient,
to see things objectively.
This challenge is the challenge that I dare not to try again,
as I would fall again and again to that sweet smile

I wish you well,
I wish you all the happiness,
May he bless you with the best of His blessing.
Im not the lucky one to be by your side, but I am lucky enough to realize that I always have Him by my side, everytime every single time.

Good night... I am tired. I wanna have rest from feelings. At least for a while.

CARAMELLOS

This is indeed the very first time im doing business. Alhamdulillah. So far Allah grant me very smooth riding business journey. OK, really I'm not ready for any major challenge since I am still in desperation to complete my master degree.. lol

Introducing Caramellos!
Caramel and butter popcorn. With a hint of Garret, mine is less sweet and it taste like homemade. sometimes extra caramel, sometimes a lil bit dry, or in good lucky time, you'll get the nice balance of everything in every bites.

Well,
I am contempt with Caramellos. I hope I'll be ready for bigger business when I finished my Master. Who knows!

Nasty FB

FB is way too nasty nowadays. Everybody screams their opinion, no longer deliver it to heart. Most DEMANDS ATTENTION regardless what they say. Mostly BELIEVES what they say is the absolute truth, when there is so much flexibility and comfort in the communication.

Slowly, I return to my humble and silence blog. At least the people here say things not because of the LIKES nor SHARE. Yes, we need to express our knowledge and opinion, but I rather deliver it to the right group of people that willing to listen.

Think before you say. Say only what is important. We speak when needed, not we need to speak.

Yada

Candy Bar

Thanks to cousin for letting us experiment something during your wedding. And yes, there is a lot to improve, but above all, we are happy to prepare our simple candy bar for your ceremony.

The last one is decorated pulut kuning (yellow sticky rice) in substitute with normal cake. This fun loving decoration was done by the cousins and aunt. 

For the bride, may Allah bless you always... and thanks for the chance. xox

Baking

My new boredom killer... Baking...
Well, Thirteen said stay away from dessert cart if we are on diet, but baking is all about dessert and sweetness and cuteness.. Oh my!

Started with helping my sis, and suddenly im so into it... lol...
Im indulging myself in baking and decorating, even though not as skillful yet but I guess Im not that bad...

Hopefully more chance will come...

My red velvet before covering it with cream cheese

Happy? 

Kind of... will update more on cookies and other related experiments. 

Happy thoughts *\(^o^)/*

Ameen ya Rab. (*^^*)

Im Done!

Im done waiting,

Feels so stewpit waiting and hoping and then waiting again... 

Please go back home... 

Tired waiting.

Done ranting for NOW!

Ok...

Everything went up. Start from fuel price, and the domino effect take place... After one and another...

Do THEY listen to us? NO!
Do THEY care about us? NO!
Are THEY satisfy with what is happening? NO!
And the cycle keeps repeating. 
Hell I had been ranting about the same issue last five years, and yet it still happened now.
Keep documenting it fella, we never know when we might have the tendency to forgive THEM. At least we have evidence on how bullshit like THEY treating us.

I rest my case... But I will not forgive and forget the suffering you bring to us. 

For my own motivation and motivational boost:

"I slept on benches and everyday borrowed 20Rs/- from friend to travel film city" - Shah Rukh Khan

"I didn't even complete my university education" - Bill Gates

"I was raped at the age of 9 "- Oprah Winfrey

"I was sexually, mentally, emotionally and verbally abused by my father as far back as I can remember until I left home at the age of eighteen" - Joyce Meyer

"I struggled academically throughout elementary school" - Dr Ben Carson

"I used to serve tea at a shop to support my football training" - Lionel Messi

"I used to sleep on the floor in friends'
rooms,returning Coke bottles for food, money, and getting weekly free meals at a local temple" -Steve Jobs

"My teachers used to call me a failure" - Tony Blair

"I was in prison for 27 years"- Retired President Nelson Mandela

"Friends, there are many such people who struggled.. Life is not about what you couldn't do so far, it's about what you can still do" *NEVER GIVE UP*

Again???

On Sept 2008, I uploaded this image. And after 5 years, I uploaded it again.

Funny how easily we forgot how THEY treated us.

OK, back to budget controlling again.

Sometimes...

Image: credit to mark & angel

Irony

We can search into seven seas to find a group of Malay who can sing another ethnic song but not even a single effort to start a ceremony with Al-Fatihah?

Patient

Always a handy tool in any crisis "PATIENT". ☝😌

What the...

This is an old issue, it suddenly crossed my mind yesterday.

Why on earth Faizal Tahir was banned when he revealed his body? Its not even aurah for him. No! No!

Why so many pretty young female artist is allowed to wear whatever the custom
pleased even though it is clearly aurah for them. Why no one banning them?

Haish...

Previous Posts

I had fun reading my previous post and previous comments from people who previously become part and parcel of my life.

I somehow kind of believing that whatever happen especially a good one should be documented, because it gonna helps us to feel better in the future.

It also helps us in counting the blessing.

Our life is not all the time at far bottom, sometimes it is at the middle comfortably and sometimes at scarily at the peak of joy. No matter where we are, it is a part of life that we should cherish and enjoy.

For those who came and touched my life, thank you for being there at time you were there.

May I'll be happy reading this simple post next year.

Life is like that,
Me and my future other half...

I miss writing...

I miss writing and my special small crowd.

But I suppose it is not a sincere writing since I'm targeting to my small crowd.

I should just write and sing my heart out.

So those who feel will listen.

And those who doesn't shall walk away

Who else will listen to this bitter lullaby except me and myself?

Selamat Hari Raya

Selamat Hari Raya Aiditfitri
Maaf Zahir dan Batin

Ikhlas daripada,
Me and BAKAL suami

Heh...

Test

I hope it works!